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09/15/2003 Archived Entry: "Alive and Kicking"

Greetings once more. I'm back from Iowa.
That's right. Iowa.

I spent the whole weekend in Grinnell, this little po-dink town with a really nice college. I was there visiting my cousin, Katie, who's a senior there. With me were Jessica, younger sister of Katie, and my own younger sister, Erin. There was mad college fun to be had up there. A lot the time we spent watching volleyball games, because Katie was in a tournament that was that weekend. We also got to roam the campus, and check out the bitchin facilities of higher learning.

Aside from that, things haven't been extravagantly exciting. I have come to notice the kid in my german hour. He's some freshman named Seth. But I shouldn't use his name so we're going to call him Beth. Beth is extravagantly weird. I've noticed him do very odd things such as the following:

1. Eating his german dictionary. He spent the whole hour chewing on it. Wondering what the deal was, I took a little nibble off my own. Tastes like tree pulp. Beth is odd.

2. This girl that's sit in front of Beth turned 16 last week. Because Miege has really weird customs, girls turning 16 get to dress up in really weird outfits and wear strange things like fake glitter wings. Anyway, Beth takes it upon himself to pick at 16-Girl's wings. He just like went all scritty-scrattchy on the glitter. The best part through was that 16-Girl has not the slightest idea that he was doing it.

3. Beth is a totally hardcorepunkrocker. He has not one, but two pseudo-leather arm bracelet things. One of which is chain-mailed with safety pins. I admit, I once thought these things were fun, but I've since been satisfied for the past 3 years with wearing my watch backwards [being that its black, it almost looks like an arm band]; sans safety pins. Beth, lose the pins. Since you're not a peasant your clothes don't need to be pinned together, and you might have an alergic reation to all the metal.

Case in point, I'm really happy I named this kid Beth, and that I get a kick out of watching his crazy antics. If Beth ever reads this, may it be known that he deserves his own sitcom.

This is an oldie but a goodie. We had a fire drill a few weeks ago. Whatever. Stand outside in the nice open air for a while, go back in, miss class. All is well. Anyway, I'm standing out there, talking to Rachel about the meaning of the word 'scattershot' and out of the blue, Johnathan Key-ster [I can't actually spell his name] walks up to me and says:

Those look like some really cheap-ass Vans

While point to my shoes. I imideatly give him a 'WhatTheFuck?!' look because I hadn't done anything to mandate shoe-insultation. Really. I only see him once a day, and even then we hardly ever converse. After wards I was a little offended. Not that he said that, but that people paid such careful attention to shoes. Lets review my shoes:

1. They're Vans. I like vans because every pair I buy comes with a sticker that I put on my guitar.

2. They're clean, and pretty new.

3. They cost like... 40 bucks or something. I don't know, I didn't buy them. They were my mandatory 1 pair of shoes per year.

4. They keep my feet clean, dry, and wart-free

That all being said, I think my Vans kick a large amount of ass. If you have a problem with my shoes from now on, I'm publicly announcing it would not be beyond me to shove them up your ass. *Cries of pain are heard in the background*

-That's Right-

Someday, I'm going to buy me some cowboy boots...

Replies: 3 Buddies Neglected Their Oral Hygiene

Man,Koesterer is one random guy. I think I may have seen this Beth you speak of.

Actually, my dad's german dictionary tastes like rust.

By the way, what *is* scattershot?

Posted by sean @ 09/18/2003 04:02 PM CST

tom, i though i explained scattershot to you last year.

Posted by skank master funkatron @ 09/16/2003 08:36 PM CST

Random observations about people sometimes start the best conversations. It takes wit but you should've asked him why, indeed, he was looking at your shoes and what was so cheap about them. (Mine were $20 and they're about 2 years old, cause they kick ass)

Posted by Josh @ 09/15/2003 08:08 PM CST