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09/21/2003 Archived Entry: "Amsterdam"

Hello friends. Once again, I narrowly get another update in a week.

Well, here's the deal with the past week:

I had a dream monday or tuesday where I had this weird blood deficency dream. I was running low on hemoglobin. Whatever those are, I'm pretty sure you can't 'run low' on them. Anyway I had to wear this sensor thing all the time to make sure I had enough hemogolobi in my system. It was messed up.

That in and of itself was odd, but when I got to school the next day, Emily Bland walks up to me and tells me that she had a dream with me in it. We had a band and apparently it was mondo-cool. This recent happening disproves a favorite theory of mine though: That dreams are really your brains way of hooking up to a vast network of other people in a speudo-online-multiplayer deal. For instance: you know how sometimes you can't remember your dreams? Maybe that's because you weren't in your dreams that night; you had to play a cameo in someone elses.

But, being that I was both hemoglobin deficient and rocking with Emily Bland, the above mentioned idea can not be true. Unless I have magic powers in the dream world... which would make it 10 times better...

When I got home that night though, things took a turn for the worse... the WAY worse. I think I've mentioned before that my showers kinda jacked up, it doesn't drain right. Well, after I took my shower standing in about 5 inches of water, I decided to do something about it.

Tom: Erin!! Get me a hanger you aren't going to miss!
Erin: What for?
Tom: Just get it!

So she got it. I unwound it, curved the end into a small hook, and I went fishing down the drain.

-For the Love of Christ-

No one EVER let me do that EVER AGAIN. What I pulled from that drain... there are no words to describe it... only feelings of the extreme desire to empty my stomache via oral expulsion... After we got that disgusting clup of gross out though, something really odd happened. The water started to get little ripples.. And these ripples led towards the drain.. and before you knew it, the tub had drained all the water! Woo for Tom! He fixed the tub!

[I fully mean to have that clump of hair I pulled out of the drain bronzed, so that I might mount it on a wall and claim it to be one of my lifes greatest acheivements.]

The next day proved to be even better though. Hank and Tim Dixon had their scripted homecoming prompt and it was as follows:

Hank: Tim Dixon! [stands up] Will you go to homecoming with me?!
Tim: [Looks around]
Hank: ...Well?
Tim: [Still looking] Any body else... any takers at all..? Oh well. No.
Hank: What?!

-At which point we all started laughing-

I'm not sure who started it though, but just for the fun of it, we started clapping. And then... like some kind of miracle, the entire lunch room started clapping. The best part/irony of it all was that they had no idea they were cheering on a SCRIPTED rejection! They just kept going! We at the table almost died laughing... I personally still chuckle at the thought...

PS: Written in my planner that day from Laura Thomas was: 'Tom was a good kid today!'
So take that into account all you haters out there. Werd.

Nothing fun happened thrusday, but on Friday, we were talking about the things that may have caused the Salem Witch Trials and Mrs. Edmonds brought up the mold theory. That there was LSD mold on the wheat, and the stupid girls really thought they saw something. Somehow, among all this, Mrs. Edmonds yelled

"Mold is CRAZY"

And I really, really liked that. In other news: I got a suit. Black. Also a black tie/belt/shoes/socks. I'd never procured so many items of clothing in a single night. Just in time for debate on saturday, which didn't go that bad. 2-3. No big deal for the Radiskull. He will kill you one by one regardless.

And then there's the official 'Brak Blog' Sticker. For real. Check out the hot sweetness that is the new blog sticker click [here].

I will get anyone that wants one of these free of charge. I just have to pay Hank for the sticker paper. Other than that though, the spread the word of the blog is payment enough. Why I seek public advertisement, I'm not yet sure. Regardless, you know you want a sticker. Anyone who's interested, PLEASE leave a comment or something. I forget conversations held in real life faster than a gallon of water through someone with a small bladder. Seriously.

So that's the deal.
Get you a sticker and become my walking-cowboy-billboards.