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10/29/2003 Archived Entry: "Back in Black"


Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Everything takes longer than you think.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

Don't I know it. Today was aboslutly horrible. Just outright sucking ass. Of all the days for me to update too, oh well. I'm not going to outline how bad today was, but lets just say that I've found, explicitly, that each of the above laws is ABSOLUTLY true. *sigh* Lets get on with this then.

The other morning, morning being 5:30, my cat [Chip] hops up on the bed. He's purring and stuff so I pet him and roll over and fall back asleep. This, however, was not satisfactory to Chip. To make sure I knew this, he bit my hand. REALLY hard. So I smacked him on the head and said 'Bad KITTY!' Funny thing being, he just laid there, like
"Come on, pet me you son of a bitch" to which I replied
"Go to hell." and pulled my comforter over me so he couldn't bite me anymore.

Mr. Provencher. What a guy. He's CRAZY. Exhibit A:
Today he was handing out our text books, which we've still yet to use, and they had our names Post-It Noted to them. Everyone else's had their first name on 'em. But not mine, no, mine said 'Herr Hogan' [Mr. Hogan for you non-german folk]. This started after like the first month of school, where he refers to me as Herr Hogan. No one else in the whole damn class has this special naming mechanism attached except me. I'm scared to ask why though, so I guess I'll go with it.

In addition: Rachel Klem told him I was a WarGames fan. Apparently, Mr. Provencher is a WarGames fanboy as well. End result being: We're watching WarGames sometime soon!! How very rad. Even if he is a little odd, Mr. P is redeemed by the WarGames thing alone, and his extensive collection of tie clips doesn't hurt either.

Money-Saving Tip For Soceity: I read somewhere that women can have all their eggs removed and kept in cryo-storage. If this fact is to stand, why doesn't every woman do this as soon as humanly possible? Think of the advantages!

1. There would no longer exist the need for femminene products, and the annoying commercials that go along with them.
2. I'd be impossible to become 'with-child' unless you really, really wanted to. For all you that have hot-monkey-sex on a regular basis, this would come as good news, as you wouldn't be risking the creation of hot-monkey-babies.

*Kicks Self* Where do I come up with this crap?

Point: The entire school smells like ass. Not really like actually ass, but figuratively. There's been all kinds of construction, so everything has this underlying smell/taste of dust, and if you're in any classes looking out on the courtyard, you can smell the fuel stuff from the 18 bobcat things they somehow managed to get out there. It's disgusting.

ON a happier note, today after my outrageously shitty day, I went to Kate's house [Sean in tow] to try and fix her computer. After about 5 minutes of hard-core-nerd-rock-out-ing... we fixed the problem. We're also going to go back sometime and clean up the extensive amount of crap they have running on that machine, and endow it with CD-Burning action. Rock.

Back at home, I sat down and watched Jeopardy! What an annoying show.

Alex: Hairs in my old moustace.
John: How many are 7,259?
Alex: Correct. My mother's maiden name.
John: What is O'AlexWasMyLeastFavoriteChild?
Alex: Correct... The Most Pointless Game in the World.

What is Jeapordy you sons of bitches. Man, I hate that show.

Finally, here's a piece on content. .brak//SIGN has been updated/is being updated. Right now, I've got this past June's Ready.gov parody back up there. I re-read it and still found it funny. I rock. And what we're starting to incorporate into there is *drumb-roll* /THE/ comic.

As of right now, the preliminary frame I made just to see if I could make a comic is located [right about here]. <-- Click it. You know you want to.

Anyhoo, as far as that's concerned, I'm going to make it it's own page at some point, and start trying to produce them with a sense or regularity. Not that I will, but I promise, effort will at least be made.

Smile, because tomorrow will only be worse.

Most awesome thing in the world.
What are... cowboys?

Replies: 14 Buddies Neglected Their Oral Hygiene

You think Jeapordy is bad, try watching the Game Show Network.

Posted by Faye @ 11/08/2003 11:35 PM CST

yeah, i really hate feminists. gina and melanie know this.

i'm pretty sure it is possible for men to be safely sterilized. in that environmental science video, i believe one of the guys that was interviewed (from portugal, or mexico...) was getting surgery so he and his wife wouldn't get pregnant anymore. i think that's right.

i could be wrong.

anyway, i'm going to bed now. yeah.

<3 Allegra who is in a really good mood now and loves everyone! (someone better write that one down, you'll never see it again.)

Posted by the infamous Allegra @ 11/08/2003 12:32 AM CST

Gina, you are absolutely crazy. Just for your information, men can't function properly without their "sperm producing organs." Their metabolism and [let's just say many other thing] get thrown completely out of whack, and guess what? They wouldn't even be able to do anything remotely near risking reproduction. Also, you said, "sperm/sperm producing" To just take the sperm would be impossible. They are completely restored in a day. And another thing: we DON'T live in a society that is grossly dominated by men. It's now harder for men to be hired for jobs that they are qualified for, get scholarships, and, though this is irrelevant to me, get funding for collegiate sports.

I just severely ranted, and I'm sorry to both Tom and Gina. I just couldn't let that one go.

It's not because I'm sexist. I really do feel that there is a sea change that has occured even during my lifetime that has pushed the pendulum of political and social favor towards women. Sorry again.

Posted by sean @ 11/05/2003 04:44 PM CST

Forgot something.

As much as this will uncomfortable-ize Allegra, why don't men have their sperm/sperm-producing organs taken out until they and their partners want to have kids? I bet there's a way of doing it, instead of women & eggs. That's the least a guy could do since they don't even have to HAVE the baby and have few consequences for getting someone pregnant. My point being: we live in a sickeningly male-dominated society that would rather inconvenience women than men.

Posted by Gina @ 11/04/2003 09:25 PM CST

Wow, couldn't get this to work on the other computer...

Just wanted to say that Melanie, you stand corrected. Jeopardy-speak is the offspring of Stan.

Haha ericHurst song!

So *that's* what uber means. I've been wondering for a while now...

Posted by Gina @ 11/04/2003 09:15 PM CST

also, if you think it smells like ass NOW
are you dissecting cats this year? just wait till march if you are.

Posted by rachel @ 10/31/2003 02:47 PM CST

i dont recall knowing paul shinns first name for a really,really long time because mr p always called him "herr shinn"

bottom line?

german is a fucking cult

and sean, theres a genre called math rock. uh huh.

Posted by rachel! @ 10/31/2003 08:12 AM CST

my house is a happy note, yay.

Posted by kate @ 10/30/2003 10:28 PM CST

And now, topping the charts at number 73, is the new Nerd-Rock sensation, Rock the Ram, with their hit single: 28k Can Byte Me!

Posted by megatron! ....uh... fine, its just hank. @ 10/30/2003 09:54 PM CST

I think you're experiencing German culture with him favoring people and the hand on shoulders and all that. We have a German teacher that everyone thinks is gay, because of aformentioned stuff like that. Maybe the answer is German teachers are just gay, though.

Posted by Josh @ 10/30/2003 08:57 PM CST

Tom, this is almost too weird for words, but you know that thing where he calls you "Herr Hogan" instead of Tom? Well, he called me "Herr Heschmeyer" IN HIS COMPUTER CLASS. I don't even take German, and never have!!! And yet, I, like you, was endowed with this system. By the end of the year, he had:
- Told me I should be on the cover of GQ, b/c of my suit choices.
- Put his hands on my shoulders (uber creepy... uber means very for you non-German folk)
- molested me (wait, this one was a lie, but it seemed imminent)

Anyway, consider this a prediction of your year. If your lucky, he just likes adding Herr to H names, but most likely, it's because good serial paedophiles always seem to hand-pick their targets ahead of time.

Posted by Your alter Ego... Rockford. @ 10/30/2003 12:24 AM CST

Jeopardy-speak is the offspring of Satan.

Not to mention that it's hard to pick up chicks in a -pardon me- sedan.

Posted by melanie @ 10/29/2003 10:29 PM CST

I do not neglect my oral hygiene, just FYI.

I thought you were going to rant about me in your entry today, Thomas? What gives?! I wanted my 15 minutes of fame, Space Cowboy!

Alex: The most random and odd, yet strangely entertaining person known to Allegra?
Extra: Who is...Tom Hogan!
Alex: Correct. Who is the MOST hysterical person known to the aforementioned girl?
Extra 2: Uh, who is ...Melanie Briend?
Alex: I'm sorry, but the correct answer was again, Thomas Hogan. He is known for his genious blogging and creative writing abilities.

Double jeopardy. Rock.

~The QT

Posted by /\1139R/\ @ 10/29/2003 08:51 PM CST

And once again, sean is the first to neglect his oral hygiene. YES.

"The best young blogger in the world."

"Tom 'The funktacular' Hogan"

"Correct. The longest sentence ever written in Engl..."

Imagine this as a documentary voice over:
"The triumphant return of the Brak Blog was at first long delayed by technical glitches, but once it went public, the world was again pleased by the sheer magic it held. Tom Hogan was going somewhere. Maybe not often, but somewhere."

Nerd-Rock should be its own genre. It would be people naming rhyming computer jargon to radical guitar riffs. The drums would be done by clicking hard drives.

Posted by sean @ 10/29/2003 07:36 PM CST