Big Darkness

      Big Darkness - Crooked Fingers

Last night, Ethan and I were sitting down for a nice little LAN party to get a little StarCraft going on. Before I could start the game up though, my little e-mail alert dropped down, displaying the subject line of a single incoming e-mail: URGENT – Kucinich delivering impeachment articles NOW!.

“Huh,” I wondered aloud. “Wonder what this is.” I hopped onto the CSPAN website and pulled up their live feed, and there he was. Dennis, my hero, my champion, and my favorite candidate for the U.S. Presidency… Bravely, he stood there on the deserted floor of the United States House of Representatives, making his case. He has 35 articles of impeachment to get through. 35 separate reasons that he felt merited, each on their own strength, George W. Bush’s removal from office., the only website that was covering this story for quite some time, indicated that it took him four hours and twenty minutes to cover each article. Geez.

In that time span, Ethan and I played two games of StarCraft and ate dinner, while Dennis took on the lying, deceitful leader of the free world. The man is a hero, and he’s getting snubbed by the media and his peers. Pelosi has publicly stated her lack of support for such a move (that link also lists each article and its charge), which I suppose I can accept. Impeachment of the highest elected official in the country is sortof a deal, and it steps on a lot of toes for good and ill; there’s no way to get out of it without doing major damage to both sides.

And yet… listening to Dennis read his articles, everything he says is true. All the lies, the treachery, the lax and poor administrating… he did his homework. This is not some nut standing up and shouting “witch!” Everything in his articles was supported by documents and testimony, most of which came from the government itself. And if these things are true, why not impeach the president?! If he actually committed such crimes, he deserves to get booted.

I conveyed this much emotion to Ethan, and he responded that a fat lot of good it would do: if Bush were removed from office, Cheney would simply take over. That’s the beauty of it all though… Dennis already has that covered. Once we get Bush, Cheney is next, and then guess what? Nancy Pelosi is president of the United States until Obama can take over in January.

Talk about the left wing’s wet dream.

Anyways. I thought that train of thought was somewhat humorous, despite my outrage that major media outlets are largely ignoring this in favor of the “WILL HE OR WON’T HE?!” question of Obama making Hillary his running mate. Ooof. I don’t even care anymore.

In other news, I want to extend a challenge to everyone: Stop perpetuating the Chuck Norris meme. PLEASE. I’m speaking of a general consensus that Chuck Norris is awesome and hilarious and deserves to be immortalized on t-shirts with snarky sayings. Please help to fight this. Chuck Norris is really one of the biggest idiots in the world today. He has a column in syndication, Ethan and I found yesterday. Please read the following snippit from his most recent piece:

Bill Clinton once said, “We just have to slow down our economy and cut back our greenhouse emissions because we’ve got to save the planet for our grandchildren.” That is the type of mentality that got us in this trouble. I’m all for doing our best to preserve our planet, but not at the price of losing our nation in the process. Bill’s words just might come true, but not as he or Al Gore might expect. We might save the planet for our grandchildren, and lose America at the same time, unless we turn around this energy crisis now.

~Chuck Norris, Professional Ass

I’m sorry, but really. Our favorite line was, “I’m all for doing our best to preserve our planet, but-” What? WHAT?! BUT?!?!?!?!. You can’t possibly be serious?! There’s no acceptable “buts” that follow that sentence, due to a very simple axiom: No Planet = NO PEOPLE. I hope I’ll be spared having to explain the Boolean operator that connects the two. Geez. It’s not even that difficult of a concept to grasp. So Norris purports that preserving the American way of life is more important than living? I suppose I’d agree in certain contexts. IE: I’d rather die than submit to some sort of foreign-imposed authoritarian dictatorship. That’s probably true.

But this image of somehow going out in a “blaze of glory” to preserve America while you cruise around suburbia in your Ford Excursion is just absurd. How can life really be worth so little to you that you’re willing to sacrifice your descendants’ right to life for such a trivial privilege?

I don’t understand.
I think that’s, perhaps, becuase it makes ZERO SENSE.

So stop perpetuating the Chuck Norris theme. If we all work together, maybe we can even get Walker, Texas Ranger out of syndication. Just Maybe.

I just received an e-mail from the Dennis People this afternoon that says someone crippled their website early this morning, following the completion of the filing of the Articles of Impeachment.

How childish, radical-right hackers of the ‘net.
How childish indeed.


  1. Very Apt blog. Came out of nowhere on this one. I am more pleased than I would be if it was just some Tom’s life post. Blogging with a message, nice. Also, your blog is on my daily, yes daily, check of blogs. That means you don’t have to tell me when you’ve updated. Miss you

  2. i had almost forgotten how much i love you. until i read this, when it came flooding back full force. the end.

Comments are closed.